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welcome to lynette's blog! (:

@ 23 January 2009 : 1/23/2009 09:25:00 pm

one thing good i realised about having low traffic to your blog is that you get to say stuff that you will not, well,usually say and get over and done with. okay,that was random,but well..

it's friday night. and well,guess most of my friends are out shopping or having dinner or clubbing..that is why msn is super dead. went back on wednesday for cca as well as for the dialogue session. but not before visiting some of the girls in my class. it was really good to see them again, although the feeling was somewhat distant and different. i guess everyone has already gotten used to me not being around, or rather, some of them might not even give a damn about me. shoot, i just ranted. going back to school honestly, was not an easy feat for me as compared to the other time when i went back to school for open house. it was an internal struggle. a struggle to put my bravest front in front of my friends, a struggle to maintain a cheerful disposition to make them think that i have gotten over that whole issue (okay,i might have but i guess a part of me still feels frightened and awkward), and a struggle to learn to accept that i am not part of their batch anymore. no one likes the feeling, who does? to put it bluntly, it sucks to the core. yet, that little angel inside my heart was telling me to persevere, to be strong for myself and to be determined to eventually do better than them in the a level exams. get out,devil. you are a loser big time. i was definitely happy to see eddie,kristle and regina. eddie and his gui again, but i did not care that he called me that this time round. more of treasuring a nickname that my good friend has for me. i guess it was because i may not get to hear it that often when i start school, that was why i really treasured it and totally did not get back at him. cca dialogue session was good, as i managed to say everything that was kept in my heart the whole year. ya,another ranting session- official rants though. (on a sidenote, hahas, talked to justin on msn last night and well, he said that school was somewhat sian..partially because i am not around to disturb him. HAHA!)

went for cny reunion dinner at touchcentre's chapel. hahas. well, this year's dinner was definitely of a much smaller scale than last year's. i mean, no one can expect much as it is a recession period now. buffet dinner with 6 or 7 dishes + 1 dessert and drinks. and this year's dinner was only for ps roland and ps lai fun's tribe minus ps lily, ps danny and ps evelyn. well, i managed to catch up with zhong yu at the dinner. dang, can't believe all along he kept thinking i like uh hm. well, he was/is partially right. muhaha. we were practically talking in ambiguous language because his cell leader and my cell leader were nearby. damn funny. well, i also shared with him about what happened, and yup, heard what i was supposed to hear. hahas. broke up in groups for lao yu sheng, and i happened to be in ps rol's group. ps rol is super comical! half the time i kept laughing and laughing. well, worship was after dinner, followed by a short sermon on how to have the peace from God in this cumbersome year ahead. well, M.S.G i guess. M for making peace with others, S for speaking right in front of others, and G for ..good mindset i think. okay, i forgot what does G stands for. anyway, he used philippians 4: 2-9 to remind us to speak using the right language as well to always maintain postivity no matter how many turbulent trials we are facing. only in that way will we then be able to have the peace from God.

cny is coming soon, and well, it is not exactly going to be a good cny for me because by then, school will be starting in a few days time. a new chapter, a new beginning, and hopefully, a changed me.